I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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