Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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