How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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