He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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