did you get engaged???
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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