Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
