what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
