Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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