Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
