Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
