she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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