Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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