dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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