If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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