Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
