are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
