it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Your cock deserves a montage
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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