pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My pussy is not your playground.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize