ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
