have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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