Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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