i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
