I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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