T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
