I want to stick my p in your. b.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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