What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
