New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
