the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
