It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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