just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
