Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
