Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
