i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
