Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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