I will die if light touches me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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