the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
