Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
