Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
