I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
