Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
