covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
