she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
