What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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