Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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