Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
