i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
