I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
