You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
