I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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