there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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