Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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