Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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