The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
